Do you ever stop and think, “why am I so sad?” I do, I wouldn’t say often but there's been quite a few times. For me it almost always occurs during the night. When everyone else is gone and there's nothing to occupy my time with and it’s only me. Raw. I guess it could be a part of loneliness or maybe just utter boredom with everyday life. Who knows really? But I often find myself following that question with another, that being “how do I make it stop?”
Its like heartache, time heals it but that’s the last method we want to use. We always want a quick fix, and easy button. Life doesn’t work like that, obviously. But what if there were a way to stop that sad feeling, stop heartache, stop whatever you would like? Would you do it?
This decision ways on my mind more often than not. Would I or wouldn’t I. On one hand all those unwanted feelings would just disappear, happiness would ensue, potentially. However on the other hand would you want to give up all those experiences? All those feelings even that supposedly make you stronger as a person?
I'm not sure which I would choose. At the time id probably go for the easy way out. Possibly regret it. There's been so many times like this though that I couldn’t help but think “hey why don’t I just skip this one? I’ve felt it countless times before and its not really anything ill learn from. Deal?”
A thought. Just a short little thought.
As your mind wanders into subconscious states
Your body feels so irate.
With fear and disgust
You seem to mistrust.