I take public transit to get to work. Nothing exciting there, I know. However you would be surprised at the various epicosity that appears on those dreaded bus rides. In any case, you’re about to be told one of those tales.
As any normal day I dragged my Zombie ass out of bed, got dressed and went through the motions of waking up and becoming a human being again. I clearly lead a very exciting life, I'm sure you can tell.
The day went by as it normally does, nothing special. I took the bus to work, worked with the insane children and proceeded to come home.
After waiting about 10 or so minutes my first, of two buses, arrived. I stepped on and asked for a Transfer. The newly installed machine spat out a slip of paper with exact times on it. I had exactly two hours, right down to the second. I'm, quite frankly, surprised they didn’t put down milliseconds.
I slowly crept towards the back of the bus, passing by a multitude of people on the way. The bus wasn’t terribly crowded but it was heading Down Town so it was to be expected.
As I sat down I pulled out my trusty MP3 player to dull the sounds of screeching wheels and heavy breathing from the guy in front of me. A few stops down the street a middle aged man waited, swaying back and forth in the heat but patiently waiting.
As I looked out the window I felt something slither against my right thigh. Annoyed I squinted my eyes as I took a quick glance at the source. That’s when it came, a terrible and yet intriguing smell.
The middle aged man, if not old, had sat down beside me. The fumes wafted up and through my delicate nostrils. I tried hard not to blanch.
You know I really don’t mind having people sit beside me on the bus, it is public transit after all and I own it as much as anyone else does. However those people who think it’s necessary to slip in the seat next to you and press their thigh against yours. I have a certain distaste for. In the heat, almost makes me hiss out those twisted thoughts that pop into my head at the moment of feeling a stranger’s sweaty thigh against my own.
In any case, I kept my cool, besides my attention was diverted to the interesting smell coming from this man. Thrills gum and cheap dollar store Aftershave. A mix of the two had me wondering exactly what this man was thinking. Though I suppose it’s not my place to judge.
My curiosity was peeked as I glanced out the window, diverting my eyes and was thankful for my MP3 player. It indeed kept one from engaging in a conversation with my person.
I began to let my mind wander. Subconsciously I subtly slid left, squishing my thigh against the cold hard wall of the bus. This would have to do. It seemed as though he was a leech, sticking to my skin desperately. I cringed and hoped he would remove himself soon.
I wondered if he realized his own folly, meaning that of the smell as well as the lack of distance. I soon concluded that he didn’t realize it and I certainly wasn’t going to be the one to tell him. After a shift working with Children all of my setting straight powers had been used up. The last thing on my list of things to accomplish was having a pointless conversation with a man who clearly didn’t realize his strange character traits. Plus that would open of the doors for continued conversation in which I stemmed far away from.
I enjoy isolation and solitude, especially after working a job where I have none. My folly of course, we all have them do we not? Conveniently I had an extra combatant in the game of conversation, a straight and unyielding facial expression and dark sunglasses. Perfect for my needs.
I had noticed the man was talking to someone up ahead. I paid little attention, as long as it wasn’t me I was content. Soon he removed his sweaty thigh and headed for the door. Relief flooded my insides. I noted that my thigh appeared to be breathing a sigh of relief as though it was a separate appendage with a life of its own. Inside I chuckled merrily. Thrills gum and cheap Aftershave. What an interesting combination.
Authors note: If you're unaware of what Thrills gum smells or tastes like basically its cute little purple gum that seems not so suspicious however it tastes like soap and has this very distinct smell which is indescribable. I believe its solely Canadian as well so many of you may not have even heard of it. Fellow Canadians will surely get in a few knowing chuckles. Hope you enjoyed the short little story.